Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
3pm strippers are depressing
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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