Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
