How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The Olympian is in my bed
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