Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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