i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize