If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
