I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
