It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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