Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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