is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
