where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
