I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
