You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
