yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
