I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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