Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
