P.S. I can't hear my feet
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
