My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
