How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
