Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
