I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
