Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
