Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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