That's intense
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
