JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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