He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
