felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize