do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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