We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
