That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Ladies don't puke and tell
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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