Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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