so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
