is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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