It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
