She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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