I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
