Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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