She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
