we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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