kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
