i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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