dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
