i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We need to rekindle our bromance
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Randomize
