awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
