We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
