Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
its not stalking. its research.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
