You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
