dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
