I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We had sex on a dog bed..
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
