she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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