honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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