Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
