wanna go halves on a baby?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
